"Bona-fide certificated card carrying Ninja"

"Be like the tree and sleep all day"

Does the night air teem with the frenzied cries of a million, zillion Ninjas? Do you find yourself KICKING PEOPLES HEADS IN for no apparent reason? Have you injured many a small animal when trying to pat them with your STUN PALM OF DOOM?

yes?

Then maybe you suffer from NINJA-MANIA (TM).

Watch this space for a MIRACLE solution.

THIS MESSAGE BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE MANUFACTURERS OF 'NINJA-BE-GONE' ANTI PERSPIRANT AND 'NINJA-NO-MORE' PERSONAL SAFETY ALARMS 2003